Saturday, March 31, 2012

Inspirational Ramblings

What I see when I'm in my happy place...
You can tell by my garden and the flowers around my home just how stressed I've been.  It's beautiful and thriving!  I'm facing a minor, but significant change in my life next month and despite having lots of friends and a family who love me, I feel isolated.  Health obstacles, raising teenagers and the legalities of being in a blended family with two very unhappy exes and five children between us are enough to add stress to any new marriage.  However, it is with tunnel vision on a Saturday morning following a night out with friends that I'm able to escape.

I invited my best local friends over last night for a little pre-party vino and light appetizers before heading out to go see a favorite (and very fun) band.  I gave my girlfriends a tour of the house, showed them the things I've done since our wedding (which took place here last Summer) and shared with them stories of how, with great frugality, I acquired the things to make our home look like the model they described it as over and over.  I showed them my new garden and they wondered how I was able to grow what I have when they felt all hope was lost in their experiences with the same plants.  My mind raced to the idea of needing to spend more time with my friends to help them and their garden grow.  After many laughs, embarrassing but hilarious "vault" stories we have that will forever go down in history we decided to go see the band perform.  Apparently everyone in a 15 mile radius intended on seeing the band as well and despite the best of intentions, we ended up at a favorite local restaurant instead.  This is where my love for my friends begins to be emphasized.  Like me, they go with the flow.  I was probably most disappointed but that's just me trying to keep things perfect I suppose as I was reminded of my constant desire for perfection throughout the evening.  I have this one friend who is so incredibly inspiring that I almost want to cry when I think of how amazing she is.  She is a mirror that I don't often look into, almost as though she's a Pandora's box that I want to peek into but am scared of what I may find.  She frequently verbally projects how fortunate I am and I often need this more than I realize, especially after certain impacting days of turmoil.  She sees how incredible things are and how beautiful my life truly is and draws attention to that when I least expect it.  I, on the other hand and so very self-critical of myself and everyone around me that I sometimes end up pushing people away.  Unintentionally, I find myself testing people's loyalties, love, strengths, or coping skills and if they fail I push them out.  This friend of mine however, sees that in me and has made me realize it is due to my own weaknesses that I do this.  Acceptance is a hard pill for me to swallow.  Always.  However, my friend has found the sugary word to preface me to swallow that sour pill. Anyone, anywhere and at any given time could ask her to describe me in one word and the word "perfect" is the first and possibly only word that comes to her mind.  Now before you think I'm the most self-absorbed person in the world, I take this word as a compliment as well as realizing there is someone who is really beginning to see the real me and it scares the hell out of me.  She knows I'm not perfect but how does she know me so well?!  She knows I strive for perfection in all I do, but she knows that my desire for perfection in all that I do is merely me allowing myself to recluse, shut out the world and hide...which brings me back to my garden.

My garden is my sanctuary.  There is no room for negativity here (other than the ones leaving my mind) and my thoughts, though calm, begin to race.  Everything that blooms in our yard, I planted in the last year after buying our home.  This morning after my husband left to take one of the boys to a baseball game and while the girls were still asleep, I made myself a cup of coffee.  I grabbed a bag of miracle-gro, the garden hose and started watering everything I felt needed a nutritional boost.  The spray and spattering sound of the water from the garden hose is such a white noise sound that I find myself lost in thought and re-living with intricate detail conversations from last night.  The smell of the jasmine still in bloom on the trellis where my husband and I said our vows last year permeates all the air through the light morning haze and the sun starts to peek through the clouds.  I love it here.  I'm seeing seedlings I planted over spring break finally begin to emerge and have one more leaf than they did yesterday and I'm in awe.  Then I realize that the friends that I hosted last night didn't exist to me five years ago.  I'm thrilled at the thought of that.  Then I begin to think back at some of the things I shared, things I've been struggling with regarding my children and my heart aches.  I'm not perfect.  I make mistakes.  I'm not the perfect mother but feel I was amongst perfect mothers last night and I'm envious.  I remind myself every day that I get one shot at this...at motherhood.  There are no do-overs.  I wish my girls were in my garden with me at this very moment as I feel a flood of emotions just pouring out of me...there's so much I want to tell them, to hug them, to tell them I try to be the best mother to them I could possibly be and I'm sorry for every time I've faltered.  Then I realize I did that last week.  I'll do it again for safe measure.  This causes me to realize that raising children is a pretty close parallel to gardening.  Each season, each plant is like every experience and opportunity that comes with motherhood.  Whereas some plants (experiences) don't thrive, you plant something in it's place that will and transplant the non-thriving plant to a place where it may succeed as well.  Some plants may die and some motherhood experiences may fail despite all the love and hope and faith you put forth.  This, above all is the hardest for me to accept.  With three daughters and a garden full of blooming and growing examples, I have to remind myself that the seasons constantly change, things around me are still growing and my striving for perfection still prevails.  However nothing is going to be perfect, despite my best efforts, but it's going to be okay.

The abundance of plants I've planted in the yard, like my three girls, keep me on my toes.  Where my husband may only see plants and constant receipts from the garden center, I'm seeing opportunities to escape, reflect and cleanse my mind of the toxins of the outside world that has become so hurtful.  It's more than just a hobby for me, unfortunately.  It's an addiction.  I'm addicted to the euphoria of escape, the short walk across our yard to connect with myself and all the thoughts waiting for me to make my world and that of my family a better place and to try to encourage my children to bloom.  It's springtime and I've got work to do.  Despite the season, I always will.  I'm a mom for life.

  
                                        
                                                      ...what the rest of the world sees.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Melanie's Purple Travel Room Theme...Yes, Really.

Without much fanfare, my youngest daughter (soon-to-be 14) and I took some much-needed mother/daughter time to give her room a little style makeover when they had a few days off from school before Valentine's day.

Much to hubby's chagrin, she wanted lavender, silver and black.  When choosing the design for my girls rooms, I encourage them to choose two colors...main and complimenting and a metallic color (silver, gold, bronze, copper, etc) but everything must compliment their current furniture.  Additionally, we pick a theme.

Though I've been painting murals for about eighteen years now, teenagers are still a little unchartered territory for me because it's an extremely rare occurrence to be contracted for a mural for a kiddo over the age of ten.  My kids are happy to be the experimental volunteers and I just love giving them cool rooms.  I suppose I can say it best when I say it's part communication, part giving up control.  The control part is a real stickler for me (my kids have some pretty elaborate ideas), but I think we did okay while still accomplishing her goal of a "travel" theme.  Melanie did the research on fonts while thinking of a font best-suited for the personalities of the appropriate cities (notice Austin's).

Ironically after having completed her room, my husband I had to locate a new hairdresser this week.  Low and behold, what could have been considered Melanie's inspiration (though we found it after the fact) was found at our new hair salon..."Hue".  My husband just shook his head...lol.  Does this mean Melanie's taste was justified?  I think so.

Melanie's results appear to be a modern, more-chic-than-shabby with glossy black accents and a silver chandelier with purple prisms (coming soon!).  I haven't yet painted the ceiling white and am not sure I will...time will tell.  However the research and layout with Melanie was fun and it makes me smile knowing this little project provided some quality time and memories for us.



 

What's a travel theme without the Eiffel?



Snazzy Silver Chandelier with Purple Crystal Prisms Coming Soon!

Raspberry Addiction Competing for First Place with Chocolate

Ever get a sweets craving that just won't quit?  For the past two years, mine is usually a spongy white cake with a raspberry filling.  Undeniably, chocolate comes first, but this sweet cake is closing in on my sweets craving for first place.  I've found a variety of ways to substantiate making them when my craving strikes...here's a few ways I've presented them:

Daughter #3's 13th birthday cake...and the cake that started it all!

Some of our wedding guests had nut allergies (one layer was Italian Cream
Cake) so I opted to make the bottom layer white cake with raspberry filling.
It was a much-appreciated hit!

Daughter #2's sweet 16th birthday cake but with a snoyw-winter theme.  The butter cream frosting was also raspberry.

After I scoop out a hole in the cupcake with a melon baller, I inject raspberry filling into my cupcakes with a pastry bag and tip.  Then replace the cake ball I scooped out and top with raspberry-flavored butter cream frosting.
Guilty pleasure for one! Yes, please...

My Pinterest/Craft room is complete! And all for under $500.

Not too long ago, I made the transition from full time Realtor to Wife & Mother Extraordinarre.  A lot of ladies will relate to this, I'm sure of it.  It's just that "wife" became a new title for me last year when I married a man with two little boys.  Not that my schedule and routine wasn't packed already with three teenage girls, but I found myself in a plethora of kid-related involvement with five kids ranging from 7 to 18 and a new husband who travels for work...a lot.   It's usually a daily balancing act for us with practices, baseball games, basketball games, volleyball games, band concerts, choir concerts, art contests, and a few "Mom, I have to turn this project in TODAY before 8 am. Can you take me to school?"  (It's an hour and half long morning commitment when that happens!)

Rewind to last year when we purchased our home (the one in all the photos).  We happened upon a home so perfect for our family of seven that it even included a home office for hubby as well as an upstairs place to set up shop for me.  Feeling that little room upstairs was most ideal for me, I wanted to make it my own recharging station.  It was perfectly situated between all the kids rooms and was the perfect to still be connected to what was happening downstairs.  It was where I could recharge my creative juices and find my (indoor) happy place...or, worst case scenario--work!  However when I discovered Pinterest, everything changed.  

Because everyone is aghast at my frugality and thrill of doing things on a budget, I've listed where I found most everything you'll see along with the prices paid for things.  Please note I'm not one to just go out and spend $460 (about what this room cost me) to set up a room...these things were all collected over time...a few years even.  For example, the chandelier was purchased about a year and a half ago for reasons my husband nor I could quite understand...I just knew it was charming and cheap and I had to have it.  It sat in a box in the garage in it's quite dilapidated-looking state for quite some time until my husband threatened to throw it out if I didn't put it to use.  That was all the kick-start I needed to complete my "Pinterest Room".  Welcome to my happy place!  

Pottery Barn Bedford cabinets purchased through Craigslist. These plus the lateral cabinet...$200.  Mirror belonged to great Aunt, chandelier purchased through Craigslist...$25.  White shelf pieces purchased at Home Depot...$12.  Granite desktop lovingly provided by father-in-law's granite company.
**Please note the paint color here isn't the best depiction from my camera but is a beautiful color in person.  I'll note in a photo below what is the most accurate example of the true color.  I used Home Depot's Martha Stewart paint color in "Winter Fog".  It's the PERFECT light blue choice for a shabby theme!
Bookshelves made by grandfather in wood shop class in 1938...pieces I can never part with.  Baskets purchased from Target and Ikea...$6-9 each.  Wood bird (taken from an Indian ship) purchased from auction...$40.  

Lateral filing cabinet included in Craigslist purchase of other cabinets.  Hutch purchased through Craigslist (Pottery Barn piece so I knew the white would match without requiring painting) and converted into a gift wrap holder...$40, hardware and dowel rods added an additional $10.  Carousel horse garage sale purchase...$10.  Painting is my own.

Gold antique picture frame re-styled into coordinating fabric pin board (what we used before Pinterest came along) purchased from an estate sale...$10.  Lamp and lampshade purchased from garage sale...$7.

Sitting view of my happy place with my once-small girls handprints.
I still remember when...


This lamp originally was solid brass.  I spray painted it, removed, cleaned and replaced the hooks for the crystals that came with it and added a few spare crystals I had leftover from my spare parts bin.  Voila!

Vase purchased from on sale from Hobby Lobby...$5.  Birds given to me by my mother for Mother's Day a few years ago.  These are what started my bird theme!

Happened upon these adorable and most-fitting shades that I couldn't have designed better myself!

Lamps purchased at Goodwill...two for $12.  Shades purchased separately at Wal-Mart...$9 each.  
**This is the truest example of the "Winter Fog" color from Martha Stewart (Home Depot) depending on your screen color.**

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Craving Raspberry Cupcakes & Anything Pink

With all the Valentine's Day decor popping up everywhere, I've been craving pink things which usually leads to anything with raspberries in it.  After having just received my giant frosting tips specifically designed for quickly and beautifully decorating cupcakes, it was time to satiate my cravings.

Using a simple white cake recipe, I add a touch of raspberry flavoring.  When the cupcakes are fresh out of the oven (and while they're still hot), I use a small melon baller scoop to core out the center of the cupcakes.  I quickly drop a dollop of raspberry jam (with seeds) into the cavity and put the plug back over the jam-filled cupcake.  Once the cupcakes are cooled, I frosted them with a combination of cream cheese and buttercream frosting with a touch of red food coloring and a generous splash of raspberry flavoring.

These cupcakes are so light, fluffy and incredibly tasty while having a great balance of sweetness (but not too sweet).  They simply taste like a burst of spring...even though it's going to freeze tonight!  Everyone loves them!

Friday, January 6, 2012

My home is going to the birds...

One lady who inspired me in 2011 was a woman who lives downtown in an old (1850's) home that became the McMansion of it's day.  It is filled to the brim (though decorated nicely) with gorgeous antiques and comfortable seating that makes you just want to curl up and get lost in a book.  Her home is furnished with a variety of collections of things from all over the world and despite the many collections, it is simply picture-perfect.  It's one of those homes that just makes you oooohhh and ahhh about repeatedly.  Her personality is just as sweet and warm as her fabulous home too!  However with her abundant collections that include original Julia Childs cookbooks, original framed Audubon prints and antiques the common person isn't used to seeing, I was in awe of her bird-related collection. Nests of all shapes and sizes, blown out eggs, and feathers were all surprisingly displayed in an organic fashion.  To add additional charm, everything had a story and she was happy to tell them.

I soon set out to locate and decorate with my own collection of bird nests, eggs, wings, anything I could find to replicate the warmth and freedom her home exudes.  My collection is still a work in progress, but I'm enjoying my home that I've allowed to let go to the birds!


Pretty as a peacock! Originally from
Z Gallerie, but bought at a model
home auction a few months ago
Wooden eggs painted to look
like Robin's eggs & bird nests
bought at Hobby Lobby with
added mosses.  All placed under
a glass dome from an estate sale 

I got so much flack from my husband when
we were the winning bidder on these two
lots of items at auction.  The swan and wings
just about sent him over the edge but I
think he's just about over it now.
These are a few of my favorite things!



A butterfly I tried to rescue from my car
grill, a ceramic egg and pine cones from
our trip to Pennsylvania in October.

Inspired by sweet Beverly's home, I
wasn't sure I could take the organic
items just sitting out and I'm always
looking for inspiration in filling glass.
These are more of my attempt at painting
little wooden eggs to look realistic.

Having these in the window reminds me
of spending time in my garden and
brings the outdoors in, even in January.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Christmas Decor 2011

Thanks in part to Pinterest, I picked up a few extra decorating ideas.  Who would have thought to hang a Christmas wreath ON a mirror, over the fireplace?

And here it is January 2012 and I'm working on Christmas stockings from a pin I saw on Pinterest.  Burlap, creamy satin and individual type-font wooden letters for the first initial to hang from their respective owner.    I'll post photos when they're complete!



The children's gift to me...they know me well! 

I'm happy to have Christmas packed away, but I do miss the sparkle and the magic and the memories that it brings when it's here.